I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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