My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize