when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i believe in u and ur pee
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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