It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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