we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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