Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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