things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize