I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize