If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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