16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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