Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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