what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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