she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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