I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize