so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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