I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize