i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
thus making me awesome and them whores
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
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she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
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who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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