We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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