i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize