Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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