i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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