I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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