Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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