on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize