Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize