I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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