i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
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At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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