As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize