I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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