I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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