yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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