i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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