Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
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It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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