to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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