Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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  (508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? (1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets. http://tfl.nu/hqfn
  Replies (97) Good night (40125) Bad night (1529)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1015) Bad night (5184) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

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  (816): I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy http://tfl.nu/kyus
  Replies (16) Good night (4717) Bad night (594) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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  (641): I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/i5uc
  Replies (6) Good night (786) Bad night (3196) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.

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  (519): Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation. http://tfl.nu/lz4o
  Replies (17) Good night (3978) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

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  (609): is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact? http://tfl.nu/ny5t
  Replies (30) Good night (1660) Bad night (7249) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol

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  (513): Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol http://tfl.nu/0mrj
  Replies (2) Good night (2566) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.

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  (860): We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun. http://tfl.nu/8k8b
  Replies (20) Good night (1950) Bad night (2562) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place

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  (818): Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place http://tfl.nu/xlhx
  Replies (58) Good night (15800) Bad night (823)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield

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  (401): She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield http://tfl.nu/quct
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  (207): View more from Maine

  when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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  (207): when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance http://tfl.nu/dir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1419) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT'S SUMMA TIME

  (907): View more from Alaska

  ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  THEY'RE THE SAME THING

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  (570): IT'S SUMMA TIME (907): ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME (570): THEY'RE THE SAME THING http://tfl.nu/6h0w
  Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (434)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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  (914): I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm. http://tfl.nu/kbjg
  Replies (12) Good night (1342) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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  (914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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  (515): I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion. http://tfl.nu/z0x4
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (162)

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