Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize