who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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