yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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