Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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