I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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