i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize