she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
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just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
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you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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