I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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