She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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