So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize