Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize