I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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