I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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