we have officially lost it.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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