you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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